Dear Prednisone,
I wish I could say "it's been fun," well, actually no I don't. Truth is, I had no idea what I was getting into when my lovely doctor so nonchalantly started listing out my treatment plan for my "rapidly progressing severe Crohn's." It was like he tried to throw "six weeks of steroids" in the middle so I wouldn't notice. My eye brows raised as I made him clarify exactly what he meant. Little did I know that said six weeks would turn into 14 weeks and we would become lifelong friends. I have a few questions for you though. Why do you have to taste soooo bad? As if your lovely side effects weren't enough, why do I have to gag every night. However, I would gag every night for the rest of my life if I didn't have to take you ever again. Along with the nice 40 pounds you have so graciously given me, I now have enough stretch marks to cause a large earthquake in southern California, enough acne for three eighth grade boys. My hair is thin, my neck is thick, and my face is officially a full moon. But I digress. I wish I hadn't taken for granted my size 4 jeans and the days I was swallowed in a medium t-shirt. I wish I could say that this experience has made me stronger, but I'm not quite there yet. It's quite the opposite actually. I've been reminded that I am weak and that I need a Healer. I've been forced to slow down and focus. It has not been fun nor easy and for that you, prednisone, are partly to blame. I used to make fat jokes about the time my older brother had to go on prednisone, but now I get through my days making those jokes about myself. You've literally sucked the energy right out of me. I thought that two weeks ago when I finally took the last half of my extremely low dose taper, I could cap that pill case for a long time. But I spoke too soon. Just yesterday, my doctor decided to put me on a long term low dose. I still can't really wrap my head around long term because quite frankly, I'm still not over the last time you ruined my life, but hey.. I'm always up for an adventure. I missed you terribly. Note the sarcasm.
Love,
I mean hate,
The Not So Joyful Joy....
But I'm trying
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